Du Bois, The Souls of Black Folk (New York: Dover, 2015) He simply wishes to make it possible for a man to be both a Negro and an American without being cursed and spit upon by his fellows, without having the doors of opportunity closed roughly in his face. He wouldn’t bleach his Negro blood in a flood of white Americanism, for he knows that Negro blood has a message for the world. He does not wish to Africanize America, for America has too much to teach the world and Africa. In this merging he wishes neither of the older selves to be lost. The history of the American Negro is the history of this strife- this longing to attain self-conscious manhood, to merge his double self into a better and truer self. One ever feels his two-ness, an American, a Negro two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder. It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. In his turn of the 20th century ethnography The Souls of Black Folk, he says, Du Bois believed that due to the severe history of slavery and constant oppression, Black Americans live with not one self, but many. The theory of double consciousness was coined by Black American scholar and civil rights activist W. I believe that players who live with a double consciousness or a fractured identity due to other marginalizations can use larp and the resulting bleed to mitigate the negative aspects if steered with pre-game measures, in-game steering and post-game evaluation. In slightly less academic terms, I am using myself and my experiences in a community I am a part of to study the idea that bleed can be steered and used for emancipatory purposes by players who live with complex marginalizations. Currently, I am embarking on a visual autoethnography studying larp and the phenomenon of emancipatory bleed at New York University’s Gallatin School. Romance, fortune, emotions, and a truly spectacular setting were combined with an intensely detailed system to make sure each person was given a role in the game that not only connected to other players, but to the world.įor me, Fortune & Felicity seemed a perfect opportunity to not only immerse myself in a unique world with which I had been enamored since I was a child, but to explore my academic interests and add to my fieldwork. The game itself was billed as a way for players to live in their very own Austen novel, with carefully crafted meta techniques that push gameplay and intensify emotions. It is no wonder why I in particular wanted to attend Fortune & Felicity, a truly spectacularly produced 360 degree illusion larp set during the Regency time period and inspired by all of Austen’s works.
Indeed, Austen’s work and world has intrigued not only me but millions over generations. This is a fundamental moment in my childhood, one I have told many times at many parties. I was left alone to consume Austen, while the other children moved on with more age-appropriate books. She was shocked that I not only was reading it and comprehending it, but that I was enjoying myself.
So I sat with the book, and was eventually caught by my teacher who thought it a comic. I was advanced for my age by quite a bit, but our failing school system didn’t really want to give up a gifted child. I was thoroughly engrossed in the romance and the social dynamics of it all. I stole my older sister’s copy and brought it to school, stealthily placing it inside the easy reader the rest of the class was supposed to be looking at. I was eight years old when I first read Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.